COPENHAGEN

'If the climate was a bank, the rich nations would have fixed it.'

Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela

FAIRNESS

It's unfair that you pay for the NHS all your life, and are then denied care in your old age.

I support free care for older people - that's fair.

FAIRNESS

It's unfair that you have to pay more tax on the income you've earned than on unearned income.

The Green Party supports the abolition of national insurance, which is fair.

FAIRNESS

It's unfair that only the better off can afford university.

Green Party policies on tuition fees and student grants are fair.

FAIRNESS

It's unfair that millions are unemployed while others can be required to work very long hours.

Green Party policy for a 35-hour week is fair.

THE GENERAL THEORY OF ABSOLUTIVITY

This new theory, which I am publishing today, states that when interviewed in the media, given a free choice, people will always tend to reply 'absolutely' rather than 'yes'. (with apologies to A. Einstein)

ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS

I particularly like verses 8, 10 and 11 of Carol Ann Duffy's new version of the old Christmas song. In case you haven't heard them (and even if you have), here they are:

Eighth Day of Christmas

One milked money to mend her moat.
Two milked voters to float her boat.
Three milked Parliament to flip her flat.
Four milked Government to snip her cat.
Five milked the dead for close-up tears.
Six milked the tax-payer for years and years and years ...
Seven milked the system to Botox her brow.
Eight milked herself - the selfish cow.

Tenth Day of Christmas

Lords don't leap They sleep.

Eleventh Day of Christmas

We paid the bluddy piper fir Scotland's Royal Bank;
twa pipers each fir Fred and Phil, fir Finlay, Fraser, Frank.
Too big tae fail!
The wee dog laughed!
The dish ran awa' wi' the spoon ...
We paid the bluddy pipers, but we dinnae call the tune.

You won't find these verses on Nadine's blog.